Mordekiller! or The Death of Margaret
by PsychoZoid
Summary: Mordecai accidentally kills Margaret, after pushing her off a building holding her birthday party. Now, he and Rigby must go on an important adventure to find a way to revive her, while avoiding the police who are trying to arrest the fellow blue jay for involuntary manslaughter. (I will update new chapters weekly/bi-weekly)
1. Chapter 1: Close to the Edge

**(DISCLAIMER: "Regular Show", it's settings and characters, are copyrighted and owned by JG Quintel and Cartoon Network. Any other original settings and characters were created and owned by me.)**

"**Mordekiller! Or the Death of Margaret"**

**Written by Andrew Berry (a.k.a. PsychoZoid)**

**Chapter 1 – Close to the Edge**

It was Margaret's birthday, and they all celebrated by throwing a party for her at the Goochie Tower, the tallest building in Regular Show Town with 105 floors. (They had to pay $1,000,000 just to rent the place.) Every single character who since appeared on Regular Show was there, except for Thomas who was left at home cleaning all the toilets that Muscle Man has shitted on, because he had a major diarrhea issue when he ate nearly 3 pounds of hot wings the night before. Seriously, they almost had to send his ass to the emergency room because he couldn't stop shitting.

Anyway, they had birthday cake which Margaret's dearest friend Eileen baked it, the cake is half burnt but Eileen isn't really much of a professional cook, but she tried.

And then they open presents for her, which were mostly new clothes, jewelry and Amazon gift cards. Mordecai and Rigby, of course, had different gifts to give Margaret. Mordecai gave her a crappy necklace made of Rice Krispies and Fruit Loops. And Rigby gave her an old and possibly broken Nintendo Entertainment System with a bootleg cartridge of Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Game (The game cartridge was made out of metallic titanium, and that's the only cool thing about it.) Mordecai and Rigby obviously didn't have much money to give her a nicer gift, but at least they tried.

After that they watched the "The Nutty Professor" on a giant screen, which was surprisingly one of Margaret's all time favorite movies. When they were 15 minutes into movie Mordecai staggered towards Margaret started to poke her shoulder.

"Heyyy Maaaagggarett," He whispered, "Let's go have some alone time on the roof…"

"I rather not, Mordecai…" Margaret refused, grabbing Mordecai's hand so he would stop poking "I want to enjoy the movie with everyone else, maybe after it's over…"

"Come one, Margaretttt…" said Mordecai slurry "Let's goooo nooow! It will only take a few minutes…"

"All right…" Margaret said "But a few minutes…"

They both exited the party room and went up in the elevator.

Now, if you are wondering: "What in the world is going on with Mordecai?" I will tell you. Apparently, Muscle Man's diarrhea exposed psychedelic fumes that, when inhaled, will make you high for a very long time. Mordecai must have inhaled some of it when he looking closely at the toilet was backfiring and overflowing liquid shit. And the diarrhea covering the floors didn't help either. Mordecai was the only one affected, since the other did not dare to go near any of Muscle Man's shit. This mysteriously drug completely changed Mordecai's behavior, even Rigby and the others were a bit worried. Muscle Man probably got high from it as well, but then again, he always acts wild as parties. Mordecai, unfortunately, it still high as of now from the toxic diarrhea fumes as of now. This is why Margaret felt a bit uncomfortable when Mordecai was asking her to go to the top floor. She must assume he is smoking marijuana, he has never smoked weed.) Apparently, you can easily tell if someone is high off of some rare and exotic drug, even the ones that come from Buffalo wings fueled feces…

Anyway, Mordecai and Margaret aboard the elevator to the get to the building's rooftop, in the elevator Mordecai tried to put his arm around Margaret's shoulder but Margaret withdrew from him.

"W-W-What's wrong, Margaret…" Mordecai asked, still high as a kite.

"Nothing…" Margaret said bitterly, "Come one, Mordecai… I know you are high"

"What? Nah…." Mordecai disagreed "It was Muscle Man's shit, it made me drowsy…"

Then Mordecai had a semi-seizure from the drugs, this made is vision more trippy. He began to feel dizzy from the effects of the shit fumes and threw up on the side of Margaret's jeans.

"Aaah! These are my new jeans…" Margaret freaked out "What are you doing, Mordecai!?"

"Sorry… Mar-mar—"Mordecai threw up again this time on the elevator floor.

Margaret sighs heavily while Mordecai staggered around the small elevator room clumsily like an idiot.

They were on the roof and they walked toward to the edge of it, right near the railing, they both the beautiful New York skyline in the windy air.

Mordecai is swaying back and forth trying to regain balance on his footing, and Margaret leans on the railing looking bored and angry at the same.

"I can't do this while you're high…" Margaret spoke "You should stop smoking weed…"

"I'm not smoking weed you dumb-dumb…" Mordecai slurred "I a-a-already said ittttt; It was Muscle Man's diarrhea… It made me…" He then barfed again but only a little.

Margaret sighed and turns her back to the view of the skyline. She then started to daydream.

Mordecai finally stood up straight and looked at Margaret. He then peered down lower and saw one of his secret admiration: Margaret's ass.

Yes, Mordecai always craved Margaret's buttocks. He always thought it was too big for a bird girl like her. It almost looked like she had injections but no it's definitely the real thing. He started crave for "The Ass" when he stared while she rode her bike in the episode "Slam Dunk" (Come on, it was obvious.) Or maybe he always has stared at it the time he knew her…

Ever since then, Mordecai became obsessed with her plump rump, and while being high on drug-laced shit, "The Ass" looks bigger and the craving is stronger, all thanks to the deranged hallucinations he was now having.

This was his opportunity to get a good smack on her bottom, while Margaret isn't looking. So he slowing crept toward still eyeing on "The Ass".

Meanwhile, Margaret let out a deep sigh and unknowingly leans more forward against the railing while being incredibly upset at Mordecai's behavior.

_Why must he behave like this in front of me? _Margaret thought to herself, _especially on my birthday…_

As he crept closer, Mordecai stuck out his right arm. Margaret's body leaned more forward so her butt stuck way out into the air a bit. As that happen, Mordecai began to dash towards her, and once he was only a half an inch away from her body he swung his arm around and smacked Margaret's lady lump as hard as he can, letting out a huge cracking sound that slightly echoed.

"Ouuuchh!" Margaret screamed.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH" Mordecai let out his signature cry after slapping Margaret's ass for the first time.

Margaret was about to turn her whole body, but she began to realize she was starting to fall over the railing. Mordecai had smacked her so hard he pushed her more forward on the railing.

"Mordecai…!" Margaret yelped as she was losing balance, but Mordecai was still shouting out a long "OOOOOOOOHHH!"

Before she knew it, Margaret falls over. She was plummeting down several stories in the air while he body was doing somersaults.

Meanwhile at the party, everyone seems to saw a red blur swipe down their window. They all stared at the window for a second "What the heck was that?" Benson said while dancing with Audrey. "Who cares bro, let's just keep on partying WOOOOOO!" says a shirtless and possibly high Muscle Man while twirling his t-shirt in the air. They then forgot about and continued partying.

Margaret was screaming her lungs out she continues to fall knowing that her fate was to come. Her flashing before her eyes as she saw her birth, her childhood, her family, and the best times she had with Mordecai, Rigby, and Eileen.

"Mordecai… why…" Margaret cried out and in a split second she crashed on the concrete sidewalk. She limbs and her neck were all twisted and her whole body began to soak in blood as it spreads on the dirty sidewalk. In ten seconds cars began to stop in the middle road and people ran to witness Margaret's nearly lifeless body. Some even took photos and uploaded them on the Web. (Yeah, people these days…)

Meanwhile on the Goochie Tower's roof, Mordecai began feel extremely confused as he sees Margaret gone.

"W-Where the fuck did she goooooo…?" Mordecai says bewildered. Then he vomited violently on the floor again, collapsed on the roof's floor, and immediately passes out.


	2. Chapter 2: Life Support

**Mordekiller! Or The Death of Margaret**

**Written by Andrew Berry (a.k.a PsychoZoid)**

**Chapter 2: Life Support**

Mordecai was dreaming about himself and Margaret at the beach, with a romantic-type theme that went along with it. He and she were holding hands by the nosy shore with the yellow-orange sky shining upon them. They were both dressed in Hawaiian themed clothing, and they both started to stare deeply into each other's eyes.

_Oh Margaret, you were always beautiful to me… _Mordecai complimented to her, _I have always loved you; I want to spend the rest of my life with you…_

_Oh Mordecai… _wooed Margaret, _I love you too…_

And the two of them closed their eyes jerked their heads forward slowly and pursed their lips into a kiss.

They were just about to successfully locked lips, but all of sudden Margaret's head turned into Rigby's who looked very furious and let out an ear-piercing screaming which made Mordecai's eyes shot open and gave a startled face.

"AAAAAAHHH!" Margaret with Rigby's head and his voice shouted out "MORDECAI! WAKE UP!"

Then Margaret, with Rigby's head and voice, started to slapped Mordecai cheeks hard with her feathery arms.

And in no time, Mordecai finally regained consciousness. He began feel puzzled and his vision was temporally blurry. All he saw in front of him was a brown blur of something. Then in seconds, he made out who it was: It was his best raccoon friend, Rigby.

"I SAID WAAAAKEEE UPPP!" Hollowed Rigby with fury, and he slapped Mordecai once more but this time it was even harder.

"Okay! Okay! I'm awake!" Mordecai said rubbing his red burning right cheek. "And dude, I couldn't believe I almost kissed you…"

"Wait, what?" said Rigby confused.

"Uh… Never mind…" Mordecai said "Anyway, where in the world am I?"

"You're on the roof of this dumb tower," Rigby said "You don't even remember getting up here with Margaret?"

"No, I don't really remember anything since yesterday…" Mordecai told his loyal friend "And I was with Margaret?"

Uh, yeah!" Rigby said "You probably don't even remember her falling from here, do you?"

"Whoa what!? Margaret fell!?" Mordecai panicked "Where she at now?"

"She's still on the streets," Rigby said "and there are ambulances trucks and police cars everywhere man! Dude, I can't believe you don't even remember!"

Mordecai didn't reply back, instead he immediately rushed to the roof's railing, and peering down below to the city street. And Rigby was right, there were about 5 ambulance trucks and police cars each, and there were all surrounding a sheet-covered object being transported to a close by ambulance truck by two paramedics.

"Damn! Rigby, what happened to her!?" Mordecai asked and turned his head to look at the raccoon.

"I don't know!" Rigby said "You were the one that was with her."

"I'm going downstairs to see what's up…" Mordecai said and started to run for the door.

"Hey! Wait for me!" cried Rigby and he ran on four legs to catch up to with Mordecai.

The two friends began walking down the long stairwell.

"Hey, why are we even at this place anyway?" Mordecai asked "Why aren't we at home?"

"You don't remember that either, dude" baffled Rigby "We were celebrating Margaret's 'birthday'. You were the one who planned the party, and it isn't even Margaret birthday today"

"Of course today isn't Margaret birthday," said Mordecai with a stern look "Her birthday is only in a couple of months…"

"That's what I was trying to tell you yesterday!' Rigby said "But you kept going 'Oooooh noooo let's celebrate tomoooroooow, I want to touch her ass.'" He imitated Mordecai's voice. "Everyone else seem to buy it too, they must have probably thought it was one of your jokes…"

"Yuck, I would never want to touch Margaret's butt." Mordecai said with disgusted "That's too perverted… Besides, I already told you I don't remember anything that happened since yesterday when we at home."

"How come you can't remember anything dude?" Rigby asked.

"I have no idea…" Mordecai answered him.

They reached the party room during their stairwell trip, but no one was in it except an old man who passed out from drinking too much beers. "The Nutty Professor" was still running but it was on the menu screen. A lot of confetti and soda cans were scattered all over the dance floor.

"Hold up, I just wanna get something." Rigby told Mordecai. And her scurried over to the middle of the room on four legs to pick up an object. When he came back over to Mordecai, it's revealed that he was carrying his intended gift to Margaret: The worn out NES and the Raider of the Lost Ark game cartridge that was inside of it.

"Since Margaret's dying, I would love to have this baby back!" Rigby said happily.

"Dude, don't even mention Margaret's name…" Mordecai said anxiously "It's making me sick to my stomach…"

After 6 minutes of long stairs walking (105 floors takes a very long time), they finally made it into the lobby. As Mordecai and Rigby exit out of the door they saw police officers and detectives chatting with each other. They were also photographers there preparing their camera to take pictures of them.

They walked outside and noticed that all the ambulance truck and police cars were already gone. They then saw Benson standing outside his truck (with the rest of the park employees inside it). He looked quite furious his face was a bright red.

"Get the fuck in." Benson said and nothing more trying to hold in the anger as good as possible. Without hesitation they went, and drove to the hospital.

* * *

In no time they arrived at the hospital, Mordecai put his head down in shame as he enter the door. Passing through the hallways of suffering patient, he and the park crew finally reached to the waiting room. Eileen was already there sitting in one of the chairs.

"The doctor's are still checking on her," said Eileen sadly.

"Oh God, what have I dooooooooone!" said Mordecai on his knees realizing that Margaret isn't going to okay.

"Keep crying you dipshit," Benson cried "She's probably dead and IT'S ALL YOU FAULT!"

Mordecai looked confused and stared at Benson.

"Benson you should calm down yourself…" Skips says with worry, "In fact we should stop blaming each other on the –"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT DO SKIPS!" Benson screamed "MY EMPLOYEE COMMITTED MURDER, WHO THE FUCK ELSE WILL I HIRE!?"

"Benson…please…" Rigby said "Stop over exaggerating it."

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHH! FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT OF HERE!" and Benson stormed off still red and clenching his fists.

"Douche bag…" Rigby murmured

"I HEARD THAT! FUCK YOU, YOU RACCOON FAGGOT!" screamed Benson who was already at the end of the hallway.

Rigby and the others all stared at the fading gumball machine blankly pondering on his unnecessary temper tantrum

"Damn, when has Benson been off his meds?" Mordecai asked Skips.

But Skips didn't answers because the doctor, who has checked on Margaret, appeared at the doorway staring at the Regular Show gang. He was tall, had jet black hair, and wore glasses.

"When you're ready, you can see your friend," The doctor says.

The crew got out of their seats and walk into the corridors to Margaret's room. When they got to her door however, the doctor paused and turned around and face them.

"Were able to revive her, but she's in a horrible condition and in a coma,"

Mordecai gulped hard after hearing this.

The doctor opened the door, and the gang first saw two nurse handling a heavy machine. Connecting were tubes which attached to a crude, contorted object that is half covered by a sheet with heavy amounts of blood. The machine was pumping a load of air into the object with disfigurement making it breathe heavily, and yet, made it look haunting at the same time. This was Margaret.

Mordecai and Rigby both threw up on the spot (This time it wasn't from Muscle Man's diarrhea.) Skips, Muscle Man, High Five Ghost, Pops, and Eileen both stared at the bloody body in shock and remorse.

"Sadly, this is what's left of her…" The doctor said.

"Uh, doctor…" Mordecai said with tears flowing from his eyes.

"Call, me Dr. Stevens," the doctor said.

"Well, Dr. Stevens…" Mordecai trembled "Will Margaret be okay?"

"Well unfortunately, the fall severed and contorted her entire spinal cord, twisted her limb in 90 degree angles, broken each one of her bones, and severely damaged her brain, which is giving her major hemorrhages and other severe internal bleeding ," the doctor listed, "She is completely brain-dead and is on life support to keep her alive… So, to answer your question… No."

Mordecai fell down to the floor, went into fetal position, and wept heavily with his hand covering his face.

"LOOOOOOOOSER!" Muscle Man bellowed out at Mordecai.

"You guys want to stick around and be along your friend?" Dr. Stevens asked the gang.

Skips looked at the bloody sheets that covered the disfigured Margaret. Looking extremely frightened at the sight of her, Skips exchanged looks at Muscle Man, Rigby, High Five Ghost, and Pops. They all nodded and without saying a word.

"Yeah I think we might go…" Skips said "Just looking at that woman gives me the heeby jeebies."

Everyone except Eileen murmured with each other in agreement, and they all started to walk towards the exit…

"Hey, how about we get some Popeye's on the way home!" said Muscle Man

"Yeah, sure, why not!" Skips said, and High Five Ghost, Rigby and Pops agreed too and they disappeared through the corridor.

The only visitors left were Eileen and a weeping Mordecai who was still cradling on the floor like a baby.

"I think I will leave you two alone with Ms. the Cardinal" Dr. Stevens announced and he and the two nurses left the room as well.

Eileen stood over Mordecai looking down on him.

"Um, you want me to stay with you, Mordecai?" Eileen asked him

Mordecai turned his body on the floor over slightly. "Nah, just go and fucking eat some Popeye's..." the blue jay mumbled to Eileen underneath his trembling hands.

Eileen didn't respond back, and instead, without hesitation, she exited the room too.


	3. Chapter 3: The Bet

**Mordekiller! Or The Death of Margaret**

**Written by Andrew Berry (a.k.a PsychoZoid)**

**Chapter 3: The Bet**

In the hospital parking lot, a jet black Cadillac was parked. From the car emerged a tall muscular man wearing a beige long trench coat and a beige fedora. He also had a thick reddish-brown full beard, thick eyebrows, and a stern face.

As he walked towards that the hospital door, he spotted an anthropomorphic gumball machine banging his head violently against a street lamp in frustration. His screams are heard faintly.

The man gave a disgusted look in his face when he saw this. He then shook his head and simply ignored the sighting and continued forward to the entrance.

When he finally reached the front door of the hospital, through the doorway he passed a group of people exiting the building even stranger than the gumball machine: A yeti wearing pants, a floating ghost with an arm on his head, an overweight green-skinned man, another man with a giant head resembling a lollipop, and raccoon boy, and a beaver girl wearing clothes, and they were all walking on two feet (and floating for the ghost's case). The man gave out an even more disgruntled look on his face and growled underneath his breath.

"Fucking weirdoes…" mumbled the mysterious man.

Once he entered the hospital waiting room filled with sick and injured patient waiting to be examined, he immediately walked straight to the reception's desk.

"May I help you?" said the receptionist, a brunette woman wearing all pink.

"Yeah, I'm looking for a room where a dying bitch is dying in it…" The man answered "Know the number? I heard she was pushed off a building by some bloke, I'm here to investigate…"

"You mean Margaret the Cardinal?" asked the receptionist.

"Yeah, that's the bitch…" replied the man.

"Unfortunately sir, only friends and relatives of Ms. the Cardinal can only be allowed to visit her." The receptionist "Are you relating to her at all?"

"No, but look here bitch: I'm the high-profile homicide detective Anthony DeFazio! 26 years and running!" the man said with anger in his voice, he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out his detective badge "I've been bustling down criminal for a quarter of century; I should be automatically authorized to visit this bitch!"

"But the patient isn't even dead yet, sir…" said the receptionist startled.

"Well, the bitch is going to die soon!" snapped Detective DeFazio "Now I must see and asked her who her who was the one pushed her off that damn building!"

"I can't let you sir" said the receptionist, she started to become frightened with his yelling "Like I said only friends and relatives can—"

Then with a flash, DeFazio grabbed the woman by her collar and pulled her against his face.

"Listen here you stupid bitch!" DeFazio spat in her face as he growled "If you let me see the dying bitch, I will fucking floor you so hard behind your desk all over the other dying bitches and faggots in this room we see. Now you don't want that to happen, huh!?"

With her pink collar still clenched in DeFazio's giant fist, the frightened receptionist finally gave up. "Alright… S-she's in room 9B… It down at the end of the hallway…" She struggling on her word since her pulled out collar was almost choking her.

DeFazio let go of the receptionist collar and she dropped right back on her chair.

"Thank you very much, bitch." DeFazio said to her "Here, have a 2 dollar bill for all the trouble. They're pretty rare these days."

The receptionist received the 2 dollar bill from him, and DeFazio swaggered far down the empty hallway to Ms. Margaret the Cardinal's room of number 9B.

* * *

Back in Margaret's room, Mordecai kneels over her bed. Putting his head down on her bloody body with his arm covering it and sobs some more.

"Whhyyy, Margaret whhyyy…" he sobbed.

Just then, there was a knock on the door, Mordecai ignored it. After a few seconds the door opened, and a tall figure wearing trench coat and fedora emerges and approached the bed. He immediately notices Mordecai crying noticing more on his bird and human mixed features

_Ugh, a furry… _The man thought _how I hate those freaks…  
_

The man stopped in front of the foot board of the bed. He then look sternly at Margaret covered in sheets.

_Damn, she's not even conscious... _he thought again, _I guess I have to interrogate the anthro..._

and then he looked straight at Mordecai again. He cleared his throat for Mordecai's attention, and the blue jay looked up.

"Hello, I'm private detective Anthony DeFazio," the man introduced himself "I'm investing this incident involving this bitch being pushed off the Goochie Tower…"

"Hi…?" Mordecai responded

"Mind if I take a peek at her?" DeFazio asked

"No…" Mordecai shook his head.

DeFazio went around the bed and pulled off the covers. He saw the disfigured cardinal, who didn't look like herself at all, but he still noticed that she was a bird.

_God, another furry freak… _He thought with disgust _I can't believe I'm dealing with a bunch of delinquent anthros…_

DeFazio recovered her again, and he pulled out a small writing pad and wrote down some notes on witnessing Margaret. After finishing, he put the pad back into his coat pocket. He then looked down at the kneeling Mordecai again.

"Alright, who was the last person to see this bitch before her accident?" DeFazio asked.

Mordecai gulped a little, he brought his head down. "That would be me…" he said anxiously.

"Were you on the roof with her, before she was pushed off from the building?" DeFazio interrogated the blue jay.

"Yeah…" Mordecai spoke innocently "But, I don't remember what happened, I passed out when it all happened…"

"If you were the last one to see her, then you got to be the one who pushed her, don't you think?" DeFazio said.

"Well, yeah!" Mordecai finally looked up at him "But I didn't push her I swear."

"Maybe you were intoxicated from alcohol or from a drug, where you can't remember anything…" DeFazio

"No, that can't be it, I don't drink or do drugs" Mordecai said

"Well whatever you say…" said DeFazio "But until further notice I putting you down as a suspect to this case. But I won't arrest you…"

No please don't!" Mordecai objected "I swear! I did not push her!"

"Calm down, you furry fruit," DeFazio grumbled "How we make a bet here…"

"Um, what bet?" Mordecai said bewildered.

"I'll tell you: If this bird bitch here dies and I get enough evidence about it, I will arrest you and lock you up for either first degree murder or manslaughter" DeFazio explained

"But if she does indeed survive the coma and the injuries," he continues "Then you are free to go, and I will reward you with any amount of money you, the largest is $500,000."

"I will take the 500,000 bucks!" Mordecai agreed with the bet, finally standing up with a bit of confidence.

"Then it's a deal!" DeFazio said, he then paused for a moment and spoke again "Better where, do you work at?"

"I'm a groundskeeper at this town's park," Mordecai told him "I live there too. At that big blue house in the center of it,"

"Then tell you what, I will donate half of the 500 grand to park for improvement, and half of it too you, deal?"

"Deal!" Mordecai said and walked over to DeFazio and shook his strong hand (With DeFazio feeling disgusted that he's actually touching an anthropomorphic bird.) "She'll be still alive, I'm sure of it!"

Then DeFazio started to look stern again, as his eyes fell on the life support machinery that was attached to Margaret's organ.

"Sure, it's easy to be confident and believe that the bitch will be still alive…" DeFazio said "But you will have realized that you're going to have to pay a lot of money for those machines to pump air into the furry bitch's body."

"Well, I will do the best I can to keep Margaret alive!" Mordecai said "There's no way she's going to die. I lov—um, never mind…"

"Well, whatever you say," DeFazio replied "As long as you got $100,000 or so to pay the hospital, I'm sure the bird bitch will stay alive too."

DeFazio then held out his wrist, and peered down at the ticking silver wristwatch. "Anyway, I have to jet. I have a meeting at 6. Just remember our bet we made, my fur faggot friend…"

"Oh, I will." Mordecai said

And with further ado, DeFazio left the room closing the door behind him. After watching him leave, Mordecai walked closer to Margaret's bed. After avoiding the wires of the machines, he looked down at Margaret's sheet-covered head, and he but place his hand gently on her body.

"Bear with me Margaret, and don't worry, I know you will come back healthy!" he tells her.

After that, Mordecai left the room too, for he is returning home.


End file.
